Strength

Whenever I turn my head up to look at the tall trees and amazing buildings around me, I remember and I forget. I remember that I feel shattered and I have suspended many things like love- perhaps for the next life. Then I feel an urge to forget about everything. I become numb and desire-less, feeling no attraction toward people and then again, I remember where I broke.
Sometimes I can't believe how small things, those which are considered negligible and unreal, matter in my life. They fucking do shape my life. I have been feeling shattered for months and I am capable of ignoring it. These are the benefits of living on your own. I call it stupidly strength and I prefer to be strong. These are the aspects of me in London. A newly born version of me who I'm currently trying to know her more. I try to touch her while she refuses. She is shattered and seems a bit snobbish.